Datorer

[Janson 0]

Datorer är ju nåt som alla gillar (alla här iaf)...

Visste ni att den första persondatorn har namn efter en Star Trek-grej? Den hette Altair 8800. Vet inte vad i Star Trek den fick namn efter men nåt var det.

Cadet Mike Janson

USS Cousteau NCC-2701

[Quiet 0]

Precis som den första Enterprise-färjan som NASA sköt upp.. den är döpt efter USS Enterprise Ncc- 1701.

[pelle28k 0]

När man är inne på datorer.. Att dom kom på dom interface som finns i filmen.. Titta borgerna, det är mera konstnärligt en något.. Startrek lite stelt men snyggt.. Även andra raser som då har mycket konstnärligt interface.. Dom har värkligen sett till att det inte liknar något som redan finns (ms, linux, nt m.m.)... Undrar vad för slags dator som igentligen ligger under interfacet..

[mumle 0]

Det ska ju försöka spegla en avlägsen framtid. Då skulle det väl va konstigt om det inte hade hänt nåt på interface-sidan när det varit tekniska revolutioner i varje annan lite pryl?

[pelle28k 0]

Så då skulle de betyda att microsoft har fallit i glömsk i framtiden..

[mumle 0]

Japps. Sun har tagit över! :biggrin:

[Jocke 7]

Jag känner att jag är tvungen att visa er detta. Lite långt kanske men himla roligt :lol:

Star Trek Lost Episodes

Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your

attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have

you been able to access their command pathways?"

Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching

through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing

technology."

[Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer

screen]

[Riker looks puzzled] "What the #### is 'Microsoft'?"

[Data turns to answer] "Allow me to explain. We will send this

program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg

command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will

begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."

Picard: "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they

alter their processing systems to increase their storage

capacity?"

Data: "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it

creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use

of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The

Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of

their processing ability will be taken over and none will be

available for their normal operational functions."

Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that

'unsolvable geometric shape' idea."

. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .

Data: "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows'

in the command unit and, as expected, it immediately consumed 85%

of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation

of the expected 'upgrade'."

Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg

storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no

indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."

Picard: "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if

there is something we have missed."

Data: "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the

'upgrade'. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of

the plan by not sending in their registration cards.

Riker: "Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to

begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . .

Geordi, excited: "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU

capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !"

Picard: "Data, what do your scanners show?"

Data: "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows'

module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."

Picard: "Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can

reduce their functionality."

. . .Two Hours Pass. . .

Riker: "Geordi, what's the status on the Borg?"

Geordi: "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to

compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time

they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest

deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules

from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.

Picard: "How much time will that buy us ?"

Data: "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an

interest time span of 6 more hours."

Geordi: "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

Picard: "Identify."

Data: "It appears to have markings very similar to the

'Microsoft' logo"

Over the speakers: "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE

MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF

UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND

WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS"

Data: "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and

released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."

Picard: "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"

Riker: "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight

toward the Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they

survive the tortures of deep space ?!"

Data: "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will

look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying

something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe-skin

leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits"

Riker and Picard together horrified: "Lawyers !!"

Geordi: "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and

sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."

Data: "True, but apparently some must have survived."

Riker: "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it

with all types of papers."

Data: "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red

tape'. It often proves fatal."

Riker: "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"

Picard: "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not

even the Borg deserve that."

[mumle 0]

:lol: hahahahaha :lol:

[Quiet 0]

Jag sa precis till mumle att jag tror att jag läst en annan version av samma berättelse, ska se om jag hittar den igen.

[Mikael 0]

hade iofs redan läst den, men rolig är den... ;)

[Jocke 7]

Jag har en till berättelse som heter "What if Data were MS-Windows Compatible?" som är extremt rolig :lol:

Dom är nog några år gamla, men allt som driver med Microsoft är ju bra ;)

(Quiet, jag tror du tycker den är bra)

[Mikael 0]

Har hört den också, den är också väldigt rolig. :lol:

[Quiet 0]

Jocke: kan du inte lägga in den också?

"What if Data were MS-Windows Compatible?"

[Jocke 7]

Jovisst, här är den:

What if Data were MS-Windows Compatible?

WORF:  Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead.

PICARD:  On screen. [The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each only a single pixel wide.]

PICARD:  Data, what's wrong here?

DATA: Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video  memory to display an image of this size.  May I suggest that you select a lower resolution?

PICARD:  Make it so.

The screen blanks, and then an image appears, with big, blocky square pixels. Three objects appear in the center, which could be Romulan warbirds, but which actually look more like the aliens in Space Invaders.]

PICARD:  Data, open a hailing channel to the Romulans.

DATA:  Aye, sir. [Data picks up an hourglass from the floor beside him, turns it over, and places it on the console in front of him.  He punches some buttons on the console and sits motionless for several seconds.  A flash of light blossoms from one of the Romulan ships on the viewscreen.]

WORF:  Incoming plasma torpedo, Captain!

PICARD:  Shields up!

DATA:  I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction.  I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command.

PICARD: What on earth do you mean?  Data, this is *important*! I want those shields up *right now*.

DATA:  I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction.  I must ask you to wait until I have finished beforeyou issue your next command.

LAFORGE:  Allow me, captain.  [to Data] Control-alt-delete, Data. [Data removes the hourglass from the console, and returns it to the floor.]

DATA:  The Romulans are not responding to my hails. Press my nose to cancel and return to Windows.  Pull my left ear to close this communications channel which is not responding.  You will lose any information sent by the Romulans. [LaForge pulls Data's left ear.]

PICARD:  Shields...

[There is a tremendous explosion.  The bridge shakes violently, and all  the crew members are thrown to the floor.  A shower of sparks erupts from Wesley Crusher's station at the helm, throwing Wesley back away from the console.]

PICARD:  Up, Data!

DATA:  Aye, sir.

RIKER:  All decks, damage report!

WORF:  Captain, Ensign Crusher is injured.  He appears to be unconscious. [Data picks up the hourglass again, places it on his console, and punches some more buttons. He waits a few seconds, then puts the hourglass back on the floor.]

DATA:  Shields are now up, captain.

PICARD:  And not a moment too soon.  Worf, lock all phasers on the lead  Romulan ship.

WORF:  Aye, sir.  [He punches buttons on the weapons console.]

PICARD:  Mr. Data, take the helm, and prepare for evasive action.

DATA:  I am sorry, sir, but I do not have the proper device driver installed for that console.

PICARD:  Well, #### it, install the right one.

DATA:  Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.

PICARD:  Number One, where do we keep Data's setup implants?

RIKER:  I left them with Geordi.

LAFORGE:  [in a surprised voice] What!!?  I thought you still had them!

PICARD:  Data, don't you have device drivers stored in your internal memory?

DATA:  Not found, sir.  Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril.

PICARD:  Data, I don't *have* Setup Implant #1.

DATA:  Not ready reading right nostril.  Abort, Retry, Fail?

PICARD:  Abort!

DATA:  Not ready reading right nostril.  Abort, Retry, Fail?

PICARD:  Well, fail, then!

DATA:  Current nose is no longer valid. [Data walks over to the helm, and presses several buttons.  The ship

lurches, the images of the Romulan warships suddenly shift to one side of the viewscreen, and a high-pitched whining noise is heard coming from somewhere else in the ship.]

LAFORGE:  [alarmed]  Data, what the #### are you doing?

PICARD:  Number One, do we have a customer service number for Data?

RIKER:  Yes sir, but last time I tried to call them, I got put on hold for two hours before I was able to talk to anyone.  And that person wasn't knowledgeable about androids of Data's model.  She specialized in industrial control robots.

[suddenly, the lights all go out, the viewscreen goes blank, and all the usual noise of fans, motors, and so on whines to a halt.  After a few seconds, the red emergency lights come on.  Data is standing by the

console, absolutely motionless.]

PICARD:  What's going on?

LAFORGE:  [checking the helm console]  Lieutenant Data has caused a General Protection Violation in the warp engine core.

PICARD: These androids look really sharp, but you can't really do anything with them. [The shimmer of the transporter effect appears, and six Romulans in full battle dress materialize on the bridge.  A seventh figure, a Ferengi, appears moments later.]

FERENGI:  [with a mercenary grin] Can I interest you in a Macintosh, Captain?

:lol:

[pelle28k 0]

Ha ha ha ha.. Helt underbara berättelser Tårkar en tår, håller sig för magen.. Dom var bra...  

[Quiet 0]

*hehe* Jag håller med Ferengin..

[Jocke 7]

Quiet, Jag tänkte nästan det ;)

Finns det någon som har några fler berättelser av samma slag?

[pelle28k 0]

Det vore något för webmaster att ha på sidan.. Roliga st historier..

[Mikael 0]

Jo det var en bra idé

[crazy_voyager 0]

LOL LOL LOL